


We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now

by okemmelie



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: F/M, honestly it's really not, i would say it's mildly nsfw but ???????, it's dumb is what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:41:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22914139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okemmelie/pseuds/okemmelie
Summary: Charlotte leaves her husband, Sam, and she should definitely not have sex with his best friend, Ted.
Relationships: Charlotte/Ted (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 22





	We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now

**Author's Note:**

> do you ever get awful ideas and decide to down an energy drink and write it to get it out of your system? because me with this right now. anyway this is very much inspired by "we should definitely not have sex right now" from crazy ex-girlfriend

“We should definitely not have sex right now,” Charlotte says. She’s sitting on the very edge of her recent ex-husband’s best friend’s couch and she’s not looking at him. “We should definitely not have sex right now,” she repeats. “It would complicate the situation.”

Ted nods. “It’s the adult thing not to have sex right now.” He’s right. It is. And they’re adults. They can be in the same room and not make awful decisions, they’re grown ups. “We have the common sense not to have sex right now.”

“I need time to reflect,” she tells him. She’s now meeting his eyes. She’s  _ just  _ left Sam.

“And I’m in a real weird place.” He scoots closer. His hand is on top of hers and she doesn’t move away. And she understands. She  _ is  _ his best friend’s ex-wife, after all. They have a lot to think about and they definitely should not have sex right now.

“It feels so good to be having sex right now,” she breathes out as she slightly tightens her grip on his hair.

“It’s so good to be having sex right now,” he repeats, almost as breathless as her. She’s pretty sure that what makes it so good is that they just said they shouldn’t be having sex right now and by the looks of it, Ted agrees. “But now we can’t stop having sex right now.”

“I mean,” Charlotte gets them rolled over and she pulls Ted in for a kiss. He doesn’t seem to mind at all. “It would be weird to just stop having sex.”

“Such a good point, we might as well just finish.”

“We should definitely not have sex again,” Ted says once they’ve gotten dressed and are back on her couch.

“We should  _ definitely  _ not have sex again,” she repeats. “What are we, bonobos in a tree?”

“There’s no reason to have sex again,” he says. Then he tilts his head and almost connects it to his shoulder, only to look up at her with puppy dog eyes. “But I’ll be ready to go again in ten.”

It’s an oddly compelling point. Charlotte sits up straight as if she’s just gotten an idea and that’s because she has. “Okay, what if we said this is our last sex night?”

Ted follows suit. He, too, sits up straight and the smile on his face is very supportive. “It’s like in movies where robbers do one last heist.”

“‘Cause tonight will be our last sex heist!” She slides into his lap so easily. It’s maybe an issue, but she can’t help it.

His hands slide under her shirt and his face briefly changes. It looks like he’s in deep thought. “But then again, those movies always get a sequel.”

It sits in the air for a while. Are they really immature enough to not have sex after tonight? No, of course not, she concludes as they both shrug before going back to making out.


End file.
